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I initially gave this project to a professor on here and it received a D grade a
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I initially gave this project to a professor on here and it received a D grade and need it revised by someone who understands or who has studied health promotion in 12 hours. This project is for a Promoting Health and Wellbeing (PHW) module on a master’s degree I have attached the first submission which needs to be edited in accordance with the feedback given by the examiner below in the next 12 hours. SUMMATIVE FEEDBACK Overall Comments/Areas for Improvement: Part 01 The title of the assignment could have more clearly defined the scope of the project, it is rather vague. The conceptual framework is weak and does not engage with any of the key theories relating to health and wellbeing or health promotion. There is no clear sense of target population or context within which you will be working or any clear indication of which theories are informing the strategic direction of the project. Part 02 The project proposal fails to offer a clear or coherent sense of what your objectives for the project are or how these will be achieved. It is important to be more focused in terms of: target population; setting (e.g school/ community); age range… At the moment the project appears to be proposing to do everything and work with everyone throughout the country. The task was to develop a proposal for a small-scale health promotion project. For example, you could have focused on a particular group of people that are likely to be marginalised in terms of health and health promotion, such as out of school young people. As you rework the assignment, please make use of the available guidance to support your revisions. One final point given the emphasis in the assignment on male circumcision to reduce the risk of HIV transmission is that it is important to engage critically with this issue and consider the ethical implications. The following references may be helpful in that regard: Luseno, W.K., Rennie, S. and Gilbertson, A., 2021. A review of public health, social and ethical implications of voluntary medical male circumcision programs for HIV prevention in subSaharan Africa. International Journal of Impotence Research, pp.1-10. Rennie, S., Gilbertson, A., Hallfors, D. and Luseno, W.K., 2021. Ethics of pursuing targets in public health: the case of voluntary medical male circumcision for HIV-prevention programs in Kenya. Journal of Medical Ethics, 47(12), pp.e51-e51. Grasp of Field of Study (awareness of issues and insights into the field of study, understanding and critical review of literature and application of knowledge): The assignment does not demonstrate an adequate grasp of the field of study, has not engaged with relevant literature and lacks coherence and structure. Methodological and Research Skills – understanding and evaluating research and methodologies, appropriateness of chosen methodology and research design, analysis and discussion of data: The application of knowledge of the field is rather confused. Using the available guidance provided will help you revise both parts of the assignment. Structure, Communication and Presentation – focus, organization, cogency, clarity, fluency, accuracy: The assignment lacks coherency, focus and organisation. Please use the guidelines for structure provided as you revise the work for the next submission. AGREED GRADE*: D NOTE FOR EDITOR The Eswatini essay attached is the one you will need to edit according to the above feedback. Everything is allowed to be changed but considering the short amount of time I would suggest refocusing so it deals with a target demographic for e.g. circumcision of adolescent boys and health-promoting schools for HIV-positive girls in a rural village in Eswatini, ensure you are using theoretical approaches for example “capabilities approach or socio-ecological approach”. Other attachments include an overview of the course including assignment requirements and sample essays that received an A.