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The materials you include from the web site do not add to the clarity of the paper and, in some instances, are confusing.
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the materials you include from the web site do not add to the clarity of the paper and, in some instances, are confusing. While they increase the length of the paper, they do not add to its value. For example, each of the portions of tables (in blue) you downloaded are hard to read and much of hat is written there is not necessary to your paper. Also, your listing of all victims could been handled in one table that showed:City Date Victim Age Victim Gender Killed/WoundedYou could arrange it by date or alphabetical by city, but you could then easily see, compare and contrast the victimology by age and gender. This would have included some analysis in your recitation, rather than only facts. It needs that. They need to be the basis for your hypotheses and recommendations, which I don’t see now.